1. I thank God because I have lived all the years with ilusión.
2. I have started many programs, but then the subsequent priest generally went in another direction (as I have gone in another direction with respect to the priest before me). It’s not the fault of the subsequent priest, or the previous one, or of me, who also, but due to the lack of a diocesan pastoral project.
3. I have lived quite well the reality of the towns, and I have helped to spark actions and organizations of social groups.
4.- I started in all the towns, gatherings around the gospel and a new theology.
5.- It is debatable, but I have not returned nor maintained the relationship with the people of the towns where I have been.
6.- I have tried to work with the local priests (deaneries), and I have achieved something, but we have not managed to form a stable team.
7.- It has been a success to be in each place for only a few years. The change has benefited me and the people of the towns.
8.- I’ve gone from bad to worse, to small towns, and I think that has been my great success.
9.- I’ve been discovering that in people and in actions, Jesus was acting before I arrived.
11.- I’ve enjoyed preaching and giving talks, just as much as writing. And that’s despite generally not receiving praise.
12.- I’ve almost always enjoyed very good sacristans.
13.- I have always had very good relationships with grandparents and the sick people in towns. I have also been very close at funerals, and I believe it has served as comfort.
14.- I believe I have had a knack for smelling the Kingdom of God and collaborating in it.
15.- With Bishop Francisco, I had a tremendous relationship of friendship and collaboration. With the other bishops, I have done quite poorly, without relationship and without trust. I have been, as one of them expressed it, “a pain in the ass.” I have been requesting the weekly paper for immigrants at all diocesan meetings for many years.
16.- With my suggestions and participation, I have been one of the promoters of various associations or activities: Proyecto Hombre, Rioja Acoge, Caritas Rural, and in the villages, the Foie-gras cooperative of Ortigosa, La Feria de las nueces (Hazelnut Fair) in Pedroso, and the Feria de Alubias (Bean Fair) in Anguiano.
17.- I have always studied the Gospel and read quite a bit. This is how I grow and advance in new explanations. I read a lot of new theology.
18.- I have always had a political and vital inclination towards the poorest, which has led me to view right-wing politicians as adversaries. I have gone through many difficulties, especially during the Franco era. And that inclination towards the social left also came about because I was an active priest and involved in the movement. The things I did were often not pleasing to those in charge.
19.- I have been very creative and quite original in my pastoral work, groups, and catechesis.
20.- I have been somewhat negative, dedicating myself more to lamenting than to seeing the positive.
21.- I have often been inconsistent, changing projects or activities without finishing the previous ones.
22.- I have never lacked money. I had more than enough with what the diocese gave me. I always paid the rent for the parish house and was generous with those who needed it. I have never collected the stipend for the Masses. It is true that my sisters have always been very generous with me. I share a good amount of money.
23.- I have found it difficult to live affectively. I haven’t known how to live it broadly. Moving from town to town has served me to stop falling in love with certain people. After 50 years old, I didn’t have any problems.
24.- I have been some time without praying the breviary, but I did pray. And I have enjoyed celebrating Mass in a creative way, creating each form.
25.- I have always been very nervous and with a lot of anxiety. I have experienced that in actions, trips, groups, proposals, and in general, before anything I have to do. I never start Mass a minute late.
26.- I have not liked, and less recently, the massive gatherings of priests. Yes, the ones of small groups, and I have tried to actively participate in groups of priests that have helped me at the archpriestal and diocesan level (group of the 27, Adult Faith, groups with Fidel Aizpurúa…)
27.- I have felt envy when I saw that other priests did things better, or when things went well for them or people applauded them.
28.- I have been shocked and hurt that almost no priest has recognized the things I have done well: writing, speaking, groups…
29.- I find it difficult and resist being dispensed with in the diocese and in the parishes. I have to accept fading away.
30.- I have always had a very strong sense of ridicule, however, I have been very brave when it was necessary to be or act in difficult circumstances.
Gerardo Villar
English version translated with AI